Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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