I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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