So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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