We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize