It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize