I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You ruined the universe
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
