How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
