Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
