called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize