I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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