You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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