im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
