Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
