quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
