well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
