how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
