Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
4 words: hood of his car
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
