If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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