dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think I sprained my soul last night
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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