I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
