a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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