was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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