just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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