It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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