She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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