i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
