i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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