Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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