I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think I just sharted jello shots
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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