I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
