is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
is it fun? or sober?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize