I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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