guys are only as good as the porn they watch
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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