Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
