you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
