rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
