haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
