it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
