i will never coherently bang her
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
