thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
