the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
