Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
