worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
