Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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