when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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