apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
