It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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