Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
bring money and cleavage
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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