Swine flu is the new snow day.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
