He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize