Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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