I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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