Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
