put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
