I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
