i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
