I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
