i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
