cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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