this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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