Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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