It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
