that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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