Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
