i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
