Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
