I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
