We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
