i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
