Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
