I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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