1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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