your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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