"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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