When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
