I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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