I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
